Month: December 2024

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How Jesus Answers the Question, “Where Are You, God?”

This article originally appeared in my local paper, The Manchester Journal.

Have you ever looked up into the sky or into the dark of your bedroom when you can’t sleep and asked God, “Where are you?” Maybe it was after a really hard day, or a life-changing diagnosis, or the latest fight with your spouse, or a job loss. Maybe it was after a series of days battling anxiety or depression. We don’t usually ask God this question when things are looking up and we’re having a great day. But we do have days or seasons when we ask it.

Over 3,000 years ago, one of the writers of the Bible asked God this same question: “Why do you hide your face? Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?” (Psalm 44:24) He didn’t know it at the time, but 1,000 years later the assurance he was looking for would come through the birth of a baby in a cave or stable in the little town of Bethlehem. God’s presence didn’t just come near that night, God’s presence entered into earth in a mind-blowing way. God became flesh in Jesus (John 1:14).

When God created the world, the first humans experienced perfect friendship with him. They could talk with him directly and they even walked with him in the garden he had made for them. But after they sinned, they became scared of God and everything changed. Death and decay and brokenness entered the world. God removed them from the perfect garden where they had enjoyed unbroken friendship with him, but he also promised that one day Someone would come who would reverse the curse (Genesis 3:15). He promised that he was coming back for them.

Fast forward several thousand years, and the nation of Israel is in slavery in Egypt. They are beginning to wonder where God is, the God who had promised to make them a people who would have a special relationship with him. When God brings them out of Egypt into the wilderness, he gives them a constant physical manifestation of his presence. God appears to them in a pillar of cloud by day that changed to a pillar of fire by night. This pillar continues to constantly be with them until they enter the Promised Land (Exodus 40:38). God’s presence is next revealed in the Tabernacle, and later it would be revealed in the Temple (2 Chronicles 7:1-3). Even when the Psalmist asked, “Where are you, God?” he could go to the Temple and know that God’s special presence was there.

But God had promised that if his people did not continue to be faithful to his covenant with them, that he would leave the Temple. In Ezekiel 10:18, the glory of the Lord left the Temple. This began 400 “silent years,” which are represented by the blank pages between what Christians now call the Old and New Testaments. It is not that God was completely silent during these years, such as providing the miracle of oil for light in the Temple, celebrated today at Hanukkah. But there was no glory of the LORD that appeared, no promise of his special presence, no prophets listed in the Bible who spoke for God during those four centuries, no messages from angels recorded in Scripture.

Until suddenly one night a warrior angel appeared to shepherds on a hillside outside of Bethlehem, King David’s hometown. The Gospel of Luke reports: “And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, ‘Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:9-11)

The Apostle John later explained that the baby laid in the manger that night was different than any baby who had ever been or who ever will be born. “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory…” (John 1:14) The word he uses, “dwelt,” is the same word used in the Greek translation of the Old Testament used to talk about God’s presence in the Tabernacle! He is pointing out that in Jesus, God tabernacled, lived, pitched his tent among us.

It is normal for us to question where God is in this world that has so many difficulties and disappointments. But when we look to Jesus, we remember that God has come near. In Jesus, God entered into our suffering world. And Jesus lived a perfect life, died, and rose again so that all who believe in Christ as their Savior will see God face to face in Heaven one day (Revelation 21:3).

When we ask the question, “Where are you, God?” we can remember that he answered by coming to earth as a human. God’s presence given in Jesus truly is the hope of Christmas.

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Three Ways to Minister to a Family Who Has Had a Miscarriage

Note from Tim: I originally published this article at The Focused Pastor.

We were overjoyed when my wife first showed me the positive pregnancy test. Ecstatic. It was hard to believe that in 7 1/2 short months, we would be holding our baby. Since I was a pastor several states away from family, we wanted to make this announcement really special. That Friday, we bought the books What Grandparents Do Best and What Aunts and Uncles Do Best to send in the mail. We planned to write notes over the weekend to accompany the books so they would be ready to mail on Monday. But Saturday morning, we were in the E.R. We were having a miscarriage.

What would you say if you received a call from a grieving husband like me? How would you help him and his wife as they went through this time?

 Miscarriage is a difficult situation for many reasons. The pain is deep, and especially when a couple has not announced the pregnancy, they may conceal that pain. However, as a pastor or church leader, if you hear of a couple in your church that has had a miscarriage, God has given you that knowledge so you can share and show His grace to that couple. Here are three ways you can meet them with hope.

1) Acknowledge it as a death and loss.

As pro-life people, we acknowledge that every human life has value and dignity (Psalm 139). We can be strong on abortion being wrong, and that is a good thing. But we need to also be strong in acknowledging that what we know to be true about human life in the womb means that a miscarriage is a loss of human life. 

Because a miscarriage is earlier on in pregnancy than a stillbirth, sometimes others do not even know that the couple was expecting.1 Many parents who experience a miscarriage suffer silently, and when they do open up about a miscarriage, they need comfort and acknowledgment of this loss. Ignoring it hurts. Moving toward them in a phone call or setting up a time to meet if they would like can mean the world as they deal with the grief of shattered expectations and hopes for that new life. It is important to involve your wife in these conversations as it is also an opportunity for her to minister. When that is not possible, it is helpful to get permission to share it with a trusted woman or two in the church who will reach out to the mother so she has other Christian women to talk with about her loss.

Simply praying with them may be the pastoral care they need during that season. If the pregnancy was widely known or if they are very open about the miscarriage, it may even be appropriate to ask them if they would like it shared on the church prayer list or e-mail so that others in the local body can pray for them. Acknowledging a miscarriage as a reason for grief can in itself bring healing.

2) Counsel them from the Word.

All pastors and church leaders need to be ready to answer the question, “Is my baby in heaven?” Too many believe we need to be agnostic regarding this question. In other words, they believe it may be true that God saves babies. They say the attributes of God point us in that direction, but they believe Scripture is silent on the issue. I believe God is clear in Scripture that He welcomes into heaven every baby who dies, born or unborn. I believe this for four main reasons.

First, consider God’s view of children (Ezekiel 16:21; Jonah 4:11; Jeremiah 19:4; Isaiah 7:15-16). God claims ownership over all babies whom He calls “innocents,” even those of pagan nations. Second, consider Jesus’s love for children (Mark 10:13-16; Luke 18:15-17; Matthew 19:13-15). There is no other instance in Scripture of Jesus specifically blessing those destined for hell. Third, consider King David’s belief (2 Samuel 12:22-23). David was comforted with much more than the thought that he would join his infant son in the grave someday—he expected that he would see him again! Fourth, consider theological reasons. Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Ephesians 5:5, and Revelation 20:12-13show that we are saved by grace but condemned by works. Whenever Scripture describes those who will inhabit hell, the emphasis is on their willful sin and rebellion against God. I agree with Spurgeon, who preached: “We hold that all infants [who die] are elect of God are therefore saved, and we look to this as being the means by which Christ shall see of the travail of His soul to a great degree, and we do sometimes hope that thus the multitude of the saved shall be made to exceed the multitude of the lost.”2

I have written more on this topic elsewhere, but John MacArthur’s book Safe in the Arms of God extensively dives into this crucial topic. When I wrote a seminary paper on the eternal destiny of babies, I found that previous generations who dealt with higher infant death rates often wrote about this more. But all pastors need to dive deeply into this at some point. It is not theoretical. It is a pressing pastoral issue when a miscarriage happens or when a baby dies.

Even a pastor who is unsure of his theology in this area needs to be prepared with some encouragement from the Word for parents grieving a miscarriage because the Holy Spirit brings healing through the Word of God.

3) Offer practical help from the church if needed.

As you minister to the family, see if there are practical ways the church can help and come alongside them in their grief. Of course, the needs will vary with the situation, but asking about the need for meals or other help during recovery time can go a long way. My wife and I both remember feeling the love and help of the body of Christ as some meals were brought to us after our first miscarriage and again in another church years later as a second miscarriage included medical complications. Knowing that we were loved and not alone brought great comfort.

It is a good pastoral practice to follow up with a couple in the months following the miscarriage, even if that starts with a quick check-in. They might be dealing with other situations later, such as infertility, depression, or needing encouragement in their marriage. I have never regretted checking in on a couple a month or two after a miscarriage, but I have regretted not checking in on them. 

Christ always cares for His sheep, and while we are not Christ, we can reflect him when we show special care to those who are suffering the unique hurts a miscarriage brings. Through faithful pastors and churches, hurting couples can experience the healing and hope that Christ brings.

  1. While this article focuses on miscarriage, couples who face stillbirths will need much of the same ministry and perhaps even more support. The CDC defines the difference between miscarriage and stillbirth: “a miscarriage is usually defined as loss of a baby before the 20th week of pregnancy, and a stillbirth is loss of a baby at or after 20 weeks of pregnancy.” https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/stillbirth/facts.html ↩︎
  2. Spurgeon, Expositions of the Doctrines of Grace. ↩︎
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